Military Misdemeanour
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Prompted by cat-killing curiosity if any of you daring soldiers or ex-soldiers out there care to share stories of your past and current military mischief? I have tonnes to share, but would like to have you start your ball(s) rolling...haha...
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Once a cobra bit Rey Mysterio's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
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That's a mishap (the cobra's, not yours), not mischief...
Something more exciting, deviant, garang and macho please...haha...
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Rey Mysterio has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Ok, this is apparently not going anywhere. So let me share my darkest military secrets...
I have a problem that has stuck with me till now since enlistment. I am at my rowdiest and crudest when I'm clad in camouflage uniform. I took my first puff shortly after BMT. I went through the usual Rites of Passage by learning my Foxtrot.U.Charlie.Kilo and Charlie.Hotel.Echo.Echo.Bravo.Y.Echo well.
Then I became adventurous. Something I used to do a couple of years back at the kopitiam, when we didn't have our nametags and vocation sewn onto our uniform. I peeled off the velcro, had one or two smokes over my favourite kopi C, and even mounted my boots up on the chair. I recall one late night, when I met up an "ah beng" friend of mine after ICT for a beer cum smoking session. I even mounted my boots on the table throughout. Surely, I was behaving rowdily and giving SAF a bad name, but I actually enjoyed the astonishing looks of passerbys, who must be wondering what is up this cool soldier's sleeves.
Well, you must be wondering if I have chanced upon any law enforcer. MPs in plain clothes? Have never bumped into one. For all those days when I smoked at the kopitiam in long four, kicking back my boots on the table top. Damn shiok!
Another confession. After our ICTs, a few kakis used to go to the movies in our long four. I was always the first one to hang my boots over the front seat. The rest would follow suit. Damn comfortable. And that was when people saw a row of military gangsters at the cinema, tarnishing the good name of SAF. Don't be overly shocked, guys. We picked the afternoon slots (as outprocessing was usually at 1pm) so we weren't exactly competing with Dennis the Menace. We made sure we didn't block anyone by taking the LAST row. -
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Rey Mysterio's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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You are one hell of a devil, either satanic, or lucifer incarnate. Scary stuff you write in your posts, though I'm not much of an angel myself.
By the way, I have had lots of 'action' in full uniform, but wouldn't risk indulging in them on camp ground. Can you beat that, in a trailer of all places? Sounds sexciting perhaps, but with who? Yourself, I guess, since you are so damn narcissistic. The most daring I've done is jerking off in my camp toilet. Or once in the field, when I had such a hard-on I wished that faggot buddy of mine can give me a blowjob. My salute to you for either cooking up a big story or for being such a jerk.
Save your sperm for a better cause.
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Sorry guys, my apologies for the crudeness, and the uncensored transparency in sharing my ugly misdeeds. Just for the record, I don't indulge in these anymore. Especially those uncalled for animal releases. Don't want to be caught in the act by my CSM, whom I detest to the core!
Let's put a full stop here. But before that, an archive of my ugly fetish. This was taken two weeks ago, after I returned from a meaningless silent mob exercise. Fucking exhausted, and badly needed a smoke. So I kicked back comfortably at the kopitiam near my house, and took a pic of my boots resting on the table. Notice my white socks. We reservists don't care about matching colours, haha...
And I beg of the first and only respondent to this post to stop posting disturbing stuff. Your satanic energy may be a momentary turn-on, but surely a put-off for the prim and proper. Spread some positivity here, little devil.
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2 episodes... it has been more than 20 years since my NSF days, so I think it is safe to tell...
1) we had an OC who was quite demanding on the officers and specs ( NCOs then). Was nice to the recruits but not so good to us. His nickname was "yah-tao" ( duckhead !). Somehow he heard about this nickname from a regular WO who snitched on us. After some months, a bunch of us decided to send him a signal. We got an uncooked duck's head and one of the NCOs hung it on his Honda Accord radio aerial, while he was away on exercise. When he came back, the thing was rotting with a mass of black flies stuck to it. He got the message, alright.
2) just before I ORD'd, I brought my girl friend into our company lines. I locked ourselves in the platoon office ( I was a PS then). We had a "great" time in the office ! This was after one of the regular NCOs in the camp was caught with a girl in the sgts mess.
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Originally posted by holyhunk71:
That's a mishap (the cobra's, not yours), not mischief...
Something more exciting, deviant, garang and macho please...haha...
it would be if he had place that cobra himself... -
Originally posted by specfore:
2 episodes... it has been more than 20 years since my NSF days, so I think it is safe to tell...
1) we had an OC who was quite demanding on the officers and specs ( NCOs then). Was nice to the recruits but not so good to us. His nickname was "yah-tao" ( duckhead !). Somehow he heard about this nickname from a regular WO who snitched on us. After some months, a bunch of us decided to send him a signal. We got an uncooked duck's head and one of the NCOs hung it on his Honda Accord radio aerial, while he was away on exercise. When he came back, the thing was rotting with a mass of black flies stuck to it. He got the message, alright.
2) just before I ORD'd, I brought my girl friend into our company lines. I locked ourselves in the platoon office ( I was a PS then). We had a "great" time in the office ! This was after one of the regular NCOs in the camp was caught with a girl in the sgts mess.
Finally, something authentic and juicy (other than mine of course)! Keep the stories of mischief coming!
(By the way, when I said 'full stop', I meant the uncensored and satanic stuff...Duckheads and a quickie in the platoon office are good to know, really)
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The 6 of us were on exercise in loyang when we sneaked out from the patrol base to go drinking in Changi Europa...got back at 4am in the morning stone drunk but sober by daybreak.
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overslept one morning when the company already left for training..ran to the Armscote to draw my rifle...threw it at the back of my car and drove to the training ground.
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After grenade throwing was over I realised I had two grenades in my pocket as we were about to head back to camp,I told the driver of the 3 tonner to wait while I track back to throw the grenades.OC later asked me what the two explosions was about and I said 'What explosion?' and all the officers laughed.
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1) Took a german shepherd dog to the exercise ground. Then when i open the door, the dog rushed out and run around the whole dog camp. (still secured but ...) I cannot run as fast as the dog and can only shout loose dog loose dog. But there wasnt anyone around the exercise area for some reason. In the end, the dog run until sian so sit down and let me grab him back to kennel.
2) Another case is i put dogs in dog van. I didnt notice that is a dog in one of the cages already. (the dog is very dark so same colour as interior of van). Then i tell the other dog to go up. Luckily the two dogs never bite each other. They only growl hard at each other. Normally the dogs will bite lor. I pull one of the dogs away. If not will see blood + sadness + dunno how many extras lor. Lucky
3) Third case has nothing to do with dogs. I was a total blur f. I went to the NDP drill squad without bringing my rifle. I boarded the chartered bus without realising. I left the rifle in my cupboard. But luckily only 3 extras.
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Talking about dogs..... here's another episode from NSF days.
We exercised regularly in the Ulu Sembawang area. Before the days of the great HDB flat building programme. There were a few abandoned villages with many stray dogs left behind.
Someone came up with a "brilliant" idea ( very childish now that you think about it)... that we could "train" our own tracker dogs to track our soldiers during field exercise !!!
So an Indian NCO friend of mine went to kidnap a mongrel puppy from Ulu Sembawang and brought it back to company line. We "trained" it by letting it smell our soldier's belongings ( yes.... smelly socks and no. 4s). And then shouting at the puppy to "go find" !
All this went on very nicely and every one seemed very pleased that the experiment was going well. Then came booking out day for the troops .....
Our puppy decided that she had to track the troops going home. She left the camp with one of the platoons marching out of the gate and boarded the no. 174 bus from Sembawang Road and was never seen again
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So out there in Singapore in the mid 80s was a semi - trained dog trained to follow troopers in no. 4s ( preferably un-washed !) around the streets. If you were one such lucky trooper and recalled a stray dog following you after you booked out of camp, let the forum know !
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not sure if it fits here...back in the early 90s, was in lim chu kang camp.
those in support company would know the mercedes scout jeeps had no car key like civilian cars, you just turn a knob can start engine liao.
had a new S3 whos very 'ai sah'.. like to show off but knowledge a bit not up to standard. standing at 2nd floor of HQ block, shouted at me (I was with SP OC downstairs) where is the jeep keys? Of course I blur.. tot WTF happened. S3 proceeded to show off again and screw me loudly in front of so many people.
Then SP OC 'chut tao' for me, loudly tell S3 (downstairs shout upstairs) jeep got no keys one.. S3 face turn red.. tiam tiam FO and everyone laughing.
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Have this OC - who on the wrong ball because he is want his major rank fast !!!
He mad till exercise every alternate days - that mean today exercise 6.00a.m start -the exercise will carry on over night till tomorrow late afternoon stop ... clean up equipments and ...again the whole cycle will start again next morning ..... !!!
Our OC was nuts and pushing the men wrongly ..... on and on without any rest .... on stupid exercise .... which is just till doing for show - so he can get his major rank only !!! What is worst is every night execise our OC goes to the officer mess the whole night and ZZzzz there till morning ......!!!
After one week us the 3 2n LTA .... had it as it was meaningless ... why are the whole company doing exercise every day when OC not doing with us .... and the men deserve a well good rest ... so finally one night .... when the OC went to office mess and after that sure Zzz there ..... at 2000hrs haha the 3 platoon commander - we all just did declare the exercise halt .... and give the 3 platoon instant rest till morning .... well everyone finally got 1 night of good night sleep in the field ...We are suppose to plan to wake up by 0700hrs next morning and start carry on exercise as if nothing happen.... but that day bad luck .... usually the OC will wake up and come out of the mess at 0800 hrs only ... but that day ... thing he woke up earlier at 0600hrs and found all coms channel quiet ... and suddenly he found that he have lost his whole company !!! Yet the panic - came looking for us , but all 3 platoons all have secretly move off to redeploy to other location to rest :) !!!! Haha he was in panic and mad that he lost his whole company .... but bad luck for us, he manage to found us after a long search !!!
Well end up we 3 officer sign extra, for taking him lost his whole company when he Zzzz in the officer mess !!! .... but it was well worth it, as at least we give our men a much needed rest... before someone got kill by accident due to tireness !!!
Anyway the 3 of us did carry one to pissed the OC off at every chance .... yet we sure sign a hell lot of extras each time..... but we stood together with the men and give him a hell of a time ... !!! We make him lost his company at least one other time again !!! -
Originally posted by storywolf:
Have this OC - who on the wrong ball because he is want his major rank fast !!!
He mad till exercise every alternate days - that mean today exercise 6.00a.m start -the exercise will carry on over night till tomorrow late afternoon stop ... clean up equipments and ...again the whole cycle will start again next morning ..... !!!
Our OC was nuts and pushing the men wrongly ..... on and on without any rest .... on stupid exercise .... which is just till doing for show - so he can get his major rank only !!! What is worst is every night execise our OC goes to the officer mess the whole night and ZZzzz there till morning ......!!!
After one week us the 3 2n LTA .... had it as it was meaningless ... why are the whole company doing exercise every day when OC not doing with us .... and the men deserve a well good rest ... so finally one night .... when the OC went to office mess and after that sure Zzz there ..... at 2000hrs haha the 3 platoon commander - we all just did declare the exercise halt .... and give the 3 platoon instant rest till morning .... well everyone finally got 1 night of good night sleep in the field ...We are suppose to plan to wake up by 0700hrs next morning and start carry on exercise as if nothing happen.... but that day bad luck .... usually the OC will wake up and come out of the mess at 0800 hrs only ... but that day ... thing he woke up earlier at 0600hrs and found all coms channel quiet ... and suddenly he found that he have lost his whole company !!! Yet the panic - came looking for us , but all 3 platoons all have secretly move off to redeploy to other location to rest :) !!!! Haha he was in panic and mad that he lost his whole company .... but bad luck for us, he manage to found us after a long search !!!
Well end up we 3 officer sign extra, for taking him lost his whole company when he Zzzz in the officer mess !!! .... but it was well worth it, as at least we give our men a much needed rest... before someone got kill by accident due to tireness !!!
Anyway the 3 of us did carry one to pissed the OC off at every chance .... yet we sure sign a hell lot of extras each time..... but we stood together with the men and give him a hell of a time ... !!! We make him lost his company at least one other time again !!!
Your OC reminded me of a washout CDO officer who likes to monitor his men from his bunk through his signal set. -
Originally posted by Short Ninja:
Your OC reminded me of a washout CDO officer who likes to monitor his men from his bunk through his signal set.Sounds...
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and for that he was later posted to SBMT .dont know whether he kicked his fetish habit after that.