Paranoid or careful?
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Well it happens like this... Wen I was 14 i went out with an older guy who told me the usual. "i love u, i want to marry u, ur beautiful blah blah blah!" I fell for it hook line and sinker. Needless to say he raped me and i never saw him again. I was just left confused,ashamed and in a lot of pain. I didn't know what to do,I thought the sun shone out of his arse and then he was just another rapist. Another worthless nothing. So i told nobody and carried on. Then i went lesbian after that (not man hating,just lesbian!) and she left me for a GUY. That was confusing. So i trundled along went out with a younger guy for two weeks, he cheated on me and dumped me. I found out while at a gig, got drunk and made out with ex-girlfriend (BAD MOVE!) Then went out with an older guy who was cheatin on me and i knew it, i't seen incomin calls, i heard things on the phone, unexplained phone calls, and 'trips to the shops' in which i was never invited. With my last ounce of trust I stayed with him until I was certain,which took a long time. When it all came out in the wash I was heart broken to find out all the gritty details (ie oh i slept with her in our bed...). After I ended it he wouldnt leave me alone I even had to change all my numbers it got that bad. Anyway nearly a year ago I fell in love. I knew it was love because i'd never felt anything even close to this. It was eurphoric,i felt beautiful again. There is only one major problem that could tear us apart if it carries on.I have absolute no trust in my partners anymore. I believe him when he says he loves me and will never leave. But inside me always says check incase ur bein screwed over Octavia.Because I know if this guy was screwing me over, I would't survive. I am always checking his texts n e-mails, askin who he is talkin 2, keepin him away from exes,gettin worried about any comments he makes etc. For real it that bad. He won't comment on any women because he knows how upset i'll be, but until he reads this he might not understand why. I love him so much and dont wana lose him, sorry for the essay, but WHAT DO I DO?
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well, tell him about your mistrusts in love first...let him slowly built up the trust in your r/s..
you had been hurt a couples of time, that is why you develop a wary against r/s. However, bad things come to an end...Maybe this is the begining of a good coming for you? You never know too...
It is ok to be careful in r/s, esp in terms of intimacy. However, try not to keep things to yourself.. share your problems, happiness with the one you love. Let him or her know what you are thinking, what is expected from him or her..
You must open up your mind to your other half, if not, how to start a r/s?
Relationship is all about trust and dependence on each other..As for you, start slowly..communicate with him more.
btw, y you post this in Support?? Post it in AA, so more people can listen to your troubles!
Hope things turn out nice for you! good luck! -
aunt agony la
support, how cute.